Gob-Stoppers

Yorkshire housewife 'raised by monkeys in jungle'

The story of a Yorkshire housewife who spent five years in her childhood living with a colony of capuchin monkeys in Colombia is to be told for the first time in a book and planned television documentary...

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¡Viva la restauracion!

Ecce Mumtaz

Spanish media reported that an elderly woman, upset by the deterioration of the aging 19th century fresco in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church in the town of Borja, decided to fix it.

The unhappy results were perhaps most memorably compared to "a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic" by the BBC. Spanish jokesters have christened the revamped work once known as "Ecce Homo" -– Behold the Man -– as "Ecce Mono" -– Behold the Monkey.

Taking a more sober tone, the Centro de Estudios Borjanos described as "“unspeakable" its first sight of the redone fresco weeks ago...

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Super Karate Monkey Death Car

Jim Jones: Door-to-door Monkey Salesman

Indianapolis Star-AP

Before moving to Guyana to establish Jonestown, which he billed as a utopian community, the Rev. Jim Jones raised funds for his Peoples' Temple with door-to-door monkey sales.

Mojo Jojo Croons the Shade

The Magician Commands the Idols to Dance

India Forbids Monkey Nuptuals

It was a wedding that thousands waited eagerly for since the engagement was announced. Invitations were sent, the details were meticulously labored over, and finally, to the almost-hysteric joy of the crowds, the big day arrived.

In the small village of Talwas, Rajasthan, Raju, a well-known cigarette smoking monkey, and his bride Chinki were married, according to Stuff.

Raju had become a local celebrity after Ramesh Saini, a rickshaw driver, adopted him three years ago when he found the monkey unconscious.

He's been a surrogate son to the childless Ramesh ever since.

"I want to enjoy the feelings of a son's marriage through Raju's wedding." Ramesh told the publication. "We will welcome the bride in our house ... after the wedding with all rituals."
Raju's bethrothed Chinki lived with a priest in a nearby village.

More than 2,000 guests were expected to attend the pre-wedding feast and to watch Raju ride atop a horse in a procession, Stuff reported. The wedding was planned in accordance with traditional Hindi customs, including sacred fires and fragrant incense.

Monkeys are revered by many Hindus, because the deity Hanuman appeared in primate form.
But the carefully made preparations were thrown into havoc by government officials who cracked down on the animal nuptials, because monkeys are technically government property. So marrying a monkey, even to another monkey, is illegal (Yet there were no run-ins with the law at a 2008 monkey wedding in Orissa, another Indian state, that attracted thousands. Nor was there any strife when an Indian man wed a female dog in 2007.)

Two hundred guards from the forest department flooded Talwas on the wedding day after warning that all guests would be arrested. Hundreds of attendees showed up despite the threats, but Raju, Chinki and their owners had fled.

In a final twist, the owners announced that the monkeys married in a secret ceremony deep in the woods. Forest rangers captured the newlyweds, but Ramesh told Stuff that he is confident they will return.

"I know my son Raju, with his wife Chinki, will come back home," Ramesh said. "I will have a big reception for them."

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Something Different

Pig-Monkey Rodeo Fun for the Ides of March

Iconoclasm is Best Left to Intelligent People

Or, "A Monkey could have done a Better Job"

A Montana woman accused of taking a crowbar to an art museum display that has spurred protests and been denounced as obscene was arrested Wednesday on a charge of criminal mischief.

No, Kathleen, you are not "tougher than nails,"
(and today you drove a few more into your so-called Savior).
Get a real religion!  Try Mumtazzah!

Kathleen Folden, 56, of Kalispell, Mont., was accused of damaging a print that critics say protrays Jesus Christ engaged in a sex act.

Witnesses said the woman entered the Loveland Museum Gallery, used a crowbar to break glass over the art and ripped the print, according to the Loveland Reporter-Herald.

Mark Michaels, an area art dealer who was at the museum, told Denver's KUSA-TV that he saw the woman break the glass and grab the print, and that he tried to stop her.
He said that as the woman broke the case, she screamed [apparently unconscious of the irony]: "How can you desecrate my Lord?"

Police spokesman Andy Hiller said the work by Stanford University professor Enrique Chagoya has a tear in the panel with the depiction of Christ. The work, titled "The Misadventures of the Romantic Cannibals," is a 12-panel lithograph that that includes comic book characters, Mexican pornography, Mayan symbols and ethnic stereotypes.

It is part of an 82-print exhibit by 10 artists that opened in mid-September.

Chagoya told The Associated Press that he was shocked and saddened that his work was attacked.

"My intention has never been to offend anybody," he said. [Bullshit]

Police said the incident was the first disturbance since protesters began gathering this week outside the city-owned museum about 50 miles north of Denver. About 100 people packed the Loveland City Council meeting Tuesday night to support and oppose removing Chagoya's work.

The council decided to leave the art in place.

Chagoya said his work, a collage using religious and pop culture symbols, is a critique of religious institutions, not beliefs.

"I critique the institutions and my disagreements with the way the church corrupts the spiritual," he said. "People might disagree with my views, my art, but I'm not trying to offend anybody."

Source: AP News | Raw Story